A Los Anthropolocos Project LOS ANTHROPOLOCOS NEW DIGS AT MISSION VIEJO:
IN SEARCH OF THE COLORLESS HANDS.
DIG TOOLS
The following are the names and functions of the "Dig Tools" used by Dr. Bobby Sanchez and Dr. Ritchie Lou in locating and quantifying the artifacts of the Colorless people.
HUESITO-NEXTEPEUA
This instrument is used to determine the weight and density of Colorless brains. After thousands of test, calculations and 7 years of research it has been determined that 95% of a sampling of 10,000 that Colorless with underweight, underdeveloped, and porous brains were predisposed to being Republicans. (God of Death)
PALILUZ-HUITZILPOCHTLI
Because of the delicate nature of the decomposing remains of the Colorless, Paliluz-Huitzilpochtli is generally used at the final stages of the excavation. The small light at the tip of the instrument begins to blink when the spoon has detected int he soil sample Colorless remains. (A Manifestation of the Sun God)
PIST-TELPOCHCALLI
Functions as a depth-finder for Colorless remains. Uses low frequency radio waves. At times this instrument will malfunction and Los Anthropolocos will inadvertently unearth lost bags of pork rinds. (School of War for Plebians)
MANITA-MIXCOATL
Similar to a divining rod. Will locate Colorless remains within its range of an acre, on flat terrain. With special adaptors can be used to search over large bodies of waters. The small white hand at the end of this instrument is embedded with actual DNA coding from the last known survivor of the Colorless race. (God of Hunt)
PLANCHITA-TEPANTEOHUATZIN
State of the art Chicano technology. Determines the tofu content of actual Colorless remains. This data, in turn, is used to calculate where this individual will fall within an economic strata. The higher the tofu content the higher the individual could be placed within an economic hierarchy, which also correlates to their sense of Liberalism. As an aside, it should be noted that there has been some relationship established between poverty level Colorless and Hostess Ding Dongs. (Priests in Charge of Education)
